Leader Labyrinth

I Failed...

"What Do You Need to Let Go Of?"  This was the inquiry from my CTI Leadership leaders at the mouth of the inlayed swelling earth, grass labyrinth in Northern California. Not only did the question stimulate some strong emotions, but the thought of walking in silence with 23 others pondering the same question brought some emotion as well; I was skeptical and actually little giddy.  How was I going to get through this very foreign ritual without laughing, talking, or making faces at the others as we passed? I had no idea what I was doing or how to do it.

After receiving the question, I entered the labyrinth. I took the first step, and the thirtieth, and the hundredth.  Many thoughts filled my head as I carefully placed my foot, one in front of the other…

“What do I need to let go of?” I chanted this over and over in my head recklessly searching for something tangible and honest.  I found myself taking an inventory of my life (things I was holding on to), taking each person, item and thought that entered my head... analyzing it and trying to come up with an actionable answer to report-out onto my leaders and group. (Wow, look at that attachment to "being right"
 and to "having an answer!")

I found it very difficult to just be with the question.  As I became more and more aware of my active mind and frantic need to find something powerful and real, I also found a freedom in the path of the labyrinth as my body began to relax into my own movements. I also became aware of the creative energy radiating amongst the group of 23 others walking the same path. As I let go of the need to get the answer and started to sink into the journey, the path led me into the center of the labyrinth …. Yikes!! Slight freak out/ self-conscious moment: What am I supposed to do in here at the center?! Am I supposed to have an answer by now?!  I had nothing (and man did everyone else look so enlightened!) (Wow, look at that assumptive mind filling in the blanks!)

I recovered and took some deep breaths as I stood in the center of the labyrinth and quickly turned to walk out. The journey to the exit of the labyrinth was an attempt to return to a quiet mind and a deliberate pace.  I was able to recover and be with the inquiry yet again. I felt a connection with nature's beauty surrounding me and the energy of those I passed.  

I did not leave the labyrinth with answers, an action list, or labyrinth expertise. In that moment, I felt FAILURE.

Six years later, I recall this first labyrinth experience with extreme affection and curiosity.  Not only on what transpired that morning but also, how the metaphor of the labyrinth and the practice of physical movement has re-emerged as the center of my leadership exploration and coaching practice.

But what did I really receive that day? What did I let go of?  I let GO of the FEAR of FAILURE.  And yes, sometimes it tries to creep back on in (yeah, like daily).  But becasue of this experience, I have some new tools to help me quiet that little nag. 

Some personal takeaways from my first labyrinth walk:

• The inquiry is important but the path may take you to where you really need to go.
• Notice how much attention and energy you spend on worrying about other people, doing it right, having answers, getting it right, and avoiding failure.  How’s that working for you?
• Sometimes being up in your head isn’t all that productive. Quieting the mind and listening to your body and surroundings brings new information into the picture.
• Not knowing what you’re doing doesn’t mean you can’t do it… but you may need to do it again to get really good at it.

I may not have realized what to “let go of” that specific morning in California, but have found new things to let go of every day since.  What a blessing!

What did a bizarre Twitter DM spawn?

What I absolutely LOVE about twitter, much more than its various uses, are tweeters’ profiles.  Each has chosen their desired image and the perfect 160 characters to capture their being and doing (or to completely lie).

Last week, I received a peculiar direct message from someone I recently chose to follow.  She wrote (w/spelling errors and all), “heyy, wonderfull foto u have there. So tell me, why are you following (tweeter’s name – let’s just call him Mr.Y)? :D”  I found this message very odd.  Why did she care why I was following someone else? And then I made up this little story… Perhaps “Mr. Y” had paid this woman to do some market research on his followers. Perhaps “Mr. Y” wasn’t a “Mr. Y” at all… maybe he was a fictitious character somebody or company set up to attract followers for some other alternative reason.  After a revisit to the sender’s profile, I decided she was indeed, completely shady.

Then it hit me: the power of a twitter profile.  Whether or not “Mr. Y” is real doesn’t matter.  I followed him because of something that was in his 160 characters.  Which begs the question, what is in my 160 characters? Moreover, what should be? More interestingly (for me at least), how do I convey my being and doing in 160 characters or less? I struggle with brevity, so this is a huge challenge for me.

Kinda silly, but I ended in a five day thought about my twitter profile as a way to think about my future-self (like 10 -15 years from now).  I ended the weekend in a very different place, though. Bottom line: My twitter-inspired inquiry actually helped me find the words for who I am today but in words gone unexpressed, until now (see below).  I also started visioning a future-self twitter profile, too! No, not really all for twitter --- come on --- for me and the path I am creating.  

Want to try it? I’ve turned this into an activity just for you -have fun with it and see what you uncover!

   

Twitter Future-Self Activity

1. Write a twitter profile (or look at your current one).  No need to be on or understand twitter to do this. The guidelines are simple: you can only use 160 characters or less, spaces included. Think about people signing up to “follow you” based on these words.
2. Think 15 years into the future.  What will your twitter profile look like then? Write it all down. Same rules apply.  Note: For those of you not into twitter… just think of this as a snapshot into you. 
3. Look at that future state profile.  What does it say about who you are BEING?  What does it say about what you are DOING?  If it is all about doing, think about the being.  If it is all about being, think about how this translates into your actions.
4. Looking at your future state profile, look harder.  What in this profile can you OWN today?  Said another way, what about your future profile is not actually in the future, but part of you today?
5. What will you do with this cool information? 

 

"Save the Clock Tower!"

The paradigm of time has been suspiciously present in my life this week. Has this ever happened to you?  You get so wrapped up in the concept of measuring progress against time and it just consumes you? I think this is what they call the rat race. 

I attended a retirement party the other day and it really triggered me as I reflected on who and where I want to be at age 65 (and of course, assessing the gap).  Well, all week I was fixated on the idea of "30 more years until I retire..." Part of me celebrated, "Sweet... 30 more years! That's almost my life all over again!!"  and another part of me freaked out,  "Only 30 more years... that is NOT enough time!"   Now granted, this is the same week that I am officially outnumbered in tweezing my grey hairs, so it is feeling even more real.

A dear friend of mine explained it away by stating that we're approaching our mid life crisis. WHHHATTT?  I have never been one to subscribe to the labels, but this was an interesting way of framing the experiences of your late 30s and early 40s.  Yuck. Then again, if you're like me and most GenXers, you've spend a lot of the past 15 or so years focused on time. High school, college, first jobs, first dates, first homes, first kids.... and for us ladies, the biological clock doesn't help us, either. Looking back, there was a lot in early life that centered around pre-determined milestones and rights of passage. And yes, the title of this post is a Back to the Future reference... 

So what would it take to redefine this relationship we have with time?  To really open up the space and the permission of living outside of the time paradigm - or at least to be in a new relationship with it.  Here are some of the inquiries I am working through myself:

• What is my commitment to placing so much importance on time?
• What is possible when I let go of time?
• What would I do, say, or be if time were irrelevant?
• What do I want my relationship with time to be going forward?

Unlike Marty McFly, I shouldn't need to harness 1.21 gigawatts in order to take control of my relationship with time...

Resolutions... A Different Path

My inbox and twitter feed was loaded with juicy articles, inspirational quotes and new perspectives this morning. A great way to start a new year...

One article had a bigger impact on me than the others: How to Make 2001 Your BEST Year Yet, by Christine Kane. Twitter has become an research and inspiration engine for me and a few days back I stumbled on her fantastic website and abundant resources. This article came by way of her eZine and I am sharing it with her permission so long as this is here:

Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.  WANT TO SEE HUNDREDS MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS ONE? See Christine's blog at ChristineKane.com/blog.

You may also want to check out her video at UpLevel Your Life.  Yes, she is promoting what sounds like a fabulous coaching program -- and -- her model is very similar to the Leader Labyrinth I AM (TM) Model (I AM:  Intentions, Actions, Mindfulness) so it completely resonates with me and thought it may with you as well.  She is also way into Vision Boards!!  The Leader Labyrinth website is almost ready for launch... so more on the I AM Model and vision boards to come. 

Enjoy the article!  And, if you do choose a word, I'd love to hear how it works for you.  

The word I have chosen for word 2011 is discipline. More on that later. 

 

How to Make 2011 Your BEST Year Yet     

by Christine Kane 

The regulars at the gym were joking about it early in December. "Have a good workout now," they said. "Cuz you know what it's gonna be like in about three weeks!" 

That's because all the folks who have made their New Year's Resolutions will show up. They'll stick around for a while. Then, around Valentine's Day, the regulars get to have their old gym back.  

The hosts of a satellite radio talk show were discussing the most common New Year's Resolutions and the average success rate. Among the most common were Get Organized, Be More Spiritual, Lose Weight, Quit Smoking, and Spend More time with Family.  

I don't know about you, but this kind of To-Do List approach to life-transformation does NOT inspire me. And it doesn't surprise me that the success rates were low. 

Why Resolutions Don't Work 

The reason most resolutions don't work is that they address only one level of your life. 

The DO level.  

It's the DO-HAVE-BE model. 

It goes like this: "I will DO this thing." (i.e., Lose weight) "So I can HAVE this other thing" (Self-Esteem) and I can BE this thing. (Confident.) 

The average New Year's Resolution doesn't address the core of the issue:

The "BE" level. 

The best order for creating positive change in your life is the BE-DO-HAVE model. This means you start from the BE level. When you begin changing on the BE level of your life, then the DO level and the HAVE level follow more easily. 

When you start only on the DO level, then the blocks on the BE level will often become the obstacles you can't overcome. 

How to Tap into the True Power of your Intention

Several years ago, my friend Kathy and I decided that, instead of making resolutions, we would pick a word that would guide us throughout the year. It would be our touchstone. It would remind us of living our lives at the BE level.

This didn't mean that we didn't take action. It meant that our actions were inspired from the BE level. In fact, I took more action than ever with this new approach! 

For several years now, I've blogged about this inspiring way to begin the year. The response has been huge. So have the success rates! I regularly hear from people who have created big changes in their lives because they focused on one word. 

How to Choose A Word 

Look through the list below. Get quiet and listen to your Wise Self. Pick a word. 

Then, hold that word in your mind throughout the year, and let your word guide you to take action. 

Here's an example: 

Let's say you're one of the many people who would normally choose "Get Organized." You're tired of chaos and clutter. So, you think, "I need to get organized. That'll be my Resolution." 

But then you read this article. You decide to try this new approach. 

You sit with your clutter. You spend a few days pondering words. You realize in an "Ah-Ha!" moment that you hold on to lots of things. You're scared to let go. 

So you choose the word "Release" because it inspires you in a bigger way than "Get organized." 

So, every time you approach your clutter you remind yourself of that word. "Release," you say softly. You start to let the clutter go. 

Eventually, you realize that you're still holding on to lots more than just physical clutter. You realize that you hold onto resentment at old relationships. "Release," you remind yourself. 

You realize that holding on is affecting your diet and health. "Release" applies to some of the extra weight you've gained as well. Throughout the year, you can see clearly how much you hold on. "Release" is your touchstone. It grows you throughout the year. It becomes your guiding force, not your harsh standard. 

Your clutter became your teacher simply because you shifted your intent towards it. This wouldn't have happened if you'd opted only to "Get Organized." 

What word to choose? 

Many people know immediately which word resonates with them. For others, a little contemplation is required. 

As you read through the list of words, see if one stands out. It's tempting to choose four or five, believing that you can do it all! (Or that you're so messed up, you can't possibly narrow the mess down to one!) I recommend that if you can't choose just one, choose no more than two. 

One is ideal. It gives you focus. If you master that one word, you can choose another one in June.

Compassion  - Delight - Generosity - Effortlessness - Wealth - Gratitude - Abundance - Creativity - Willingness  -Change - Growth - Freedom  - Mastery - Kindness - Health - Presence  - Acceptance  - Courage  - Confidence - Self-Love - Action - Forgiveness - Forgive  - Release  - Trust  - Knowing - Patience - Friendship  - Fun  - Grace  - Laughter- Love  - Expansion - Exploration  - Adventure- Openness  - Discipline - Awe  - Awareness  - Risk  - Gentleness  - Choice - Spirit - Prayerfulness - Power  - Allow - Artfulness - Attention - Beauty  - Joy  - Focus  - Ritual - Heal  - Order - Clarity - Pioneer - Peace  - Laziness  - No  - Yes- Deliberateness  - Commitment  - Savor - Integrity  - Listen 

Making Tomorrow Better than Today

I am always on the look out women who have found their own path, either intentionally or simply by synchronicity.  Last week, TED delivered Jessica Jackley to my inbox.  Jessica is the Co-founder of Kiva.org, the world's first peer-to-peer online microlending website. 

“The best way for people to change their lives is for them to have control and for them to do that in a way that is best for them…” -Jessica Jackley

Her quote speaks to me on so many levels (especially as it relates to the power of coaching!)...and I imagine you can find where it may be meaningful for you as well. Need a little inspiration on finding your own path?  Give her Ted talk a listen: 

 

 

 

How long until the slippery ice?

I ripped this page out of Ode Magazine back in May 2008 and have been holding on to it ever since.  Over the years this article moved from file cabinet to notebook to journal to moving box and finally to my “blog” folder in preparation for this post.  Each time I pulled it out and questioned keeping it, I re-read it, always finding a new truth in each of Paulo Coelho’s eleven statements.  And at times, depending on where I am in my path, one or more leaps off the page as exactly what I needed to be reminded of, ever so gently.  Paul touches on some foundational truths about life yet still honors the freedom of our uniqueness and diversity as we create and honor our own paths. I hope you’ll re-visit this as often as I do.

 

Life: A Walker's Guide
How to honour and care for the                 path you're on.

by Paulo Coelho

1. The path begins at a crossroads. There you can stop and think what direction you want to take. But don’t spend too much time thinking or you’ll never leave the spot. Ask yourself the classic Carlos Castaneda question: Which of these paths has a heart? Reflect a lot on the choices that lie ahead, but once you’ve taken the first step, forget the crossroads forever or you’ll always torture yourself with the useless question, “Did I take the right path?” If you listened to your heart before the first movement, you chose the right path.

2. The path doesn’t last forever. It’s a blessing to travel the path for some time, but one day it will come to an end, so be prepared to take leave of it at any moment. However enraptured you may be at certain landscapes, or scared when you have to make a great effort to keep moving forward, don’t get too used to anything-neither the hours of euphoria nor the endless days when everything seems so difficult and progress is so slow. Don’t forget that sooner or later an angel will appear and your journey will arrive at an end.

3. Honor your path. It was your choice, your decision, and just as you respect the ground you step on, that ground will respect your feet. Always do what’s best to conserve and keep your path and it will do the same for you.

4. Be well-equipped. Carry a small rake, a spade, a penknife. Understand that penknives are no use for dry leaves, and rakes are useless for herbs that are deep-rooted. Know what tool to use at each moment. And take care of your tools, because they’re your best allies.

5. The path goes forward and backward. At times you have to go back because something was lost, or a message to be delivered was forgotten in your pocket. A well tended path enables you to go back without any great problem.

6. Take care of the path before you take care of what’s around you. Attention and concentration are fundamental. Don’t be distracted by the dry leaves at the edges. Use your energy to tend and conserve the ground that accepts your steps.

7. Be patient. Sometimes the same tasks have to be repeated, like tearing up weeds or closing holes that appear after unexpected rain. Don’t let that annoy you; it’s part of the journey. Even though you’re tired, even though certain tasks are repeated so often, be patient.

8. Paths cross. People can tell you what the weather is like elsewhere. Listen to advice, but make your own decisions. You’re responsible for the path entrusted to you.

9. Nature follows its own rules. You have to be prepared for sudden changes in the fall, slippery ice in winter, the temptations of flowers in spring, thirst and showers in the summer. Make the most of each of these seasons, and don’t complain about their characteristics.

10. Make your path a mirror of yourself. By no means let yourself be influenced by the way others care for their paths. You have your own soul to listen to, and the birds to whisper translations of what your soul is saying. Let your stories be beautiful and pleasant for everything around you to hear. Above all, let the stories your soul tells during the journey be echoed along each and every second of the path.

11. Love your path. Without this, nothing makes any sense.

A Metaphor & Blog Explained

Metaphors abound when it comes to talking about leadership...so why the labyrinth? 

As explained by Veriditas, "the labyrinth is an ancient pattern found in many cultures around the world. Labyrinth designs were found on pottery, tablets and tiles that date as far back as 5000 years. Many patterns are based on spirals and circles mirrored in nature. One feature labyrinths have in common is that they have one path that winds in a circuitous way to the center. Labyrinths are currently being used world-wide as a way to quiet the mind, recover a balance in life, and encourage meditation, insight, self-reflection, stress reduction, and to discover innovation and celebration. They are open to all people as a non-denominational, cross-cultural blueprint for well-being. They can be found in medical centers, parks, churches, schools, prisons, memorial parks, spas, cathedrals and retreat centers as well as in people's backyards."

The link between leadership and labyrinth is in the path's design and symbolism of the individual walk. As described by Alice Eagley and Linda Carli in Through the Labyrinth: The Truth About How Women Become Leaders the labyrinth is a contemporary symbol that conveys the idea of a complex journey toward a goal worth striving for. Since all labyrinths have a viable route to the center, it is understood that goals are attainable. The metaphor acknowledges obstacles but is not ultimately discouraging. Eagley and Carli's notion is that a better metaphor for what confronts women in their professional endeavors is the labyrinth (not the prevailing glass ceiling).

In addition to this "updated metaphor," I find the following labyrinth attributes a compelling way to view leadership:

• While there are some recommended guidelines, you can approach the path on your own terms; there is no "required way"
• You create your own experience and make your own choices; each individual brings uniqueness and intention
• Passage is not simple or direct; it is full of twists and turns and perhaps a feeling like you may have been here before
• There is power in experiencing the journey and in sharing it with others
• There is an integration of the body with the mind, and the mind with the spirit

My personal leadership path (thus far) and a pivotal labyrinth experience during a leadership program I attended in 2004 also serve as inspiration sources. More to come...